Botanical Investigator Gifts

'I'm not here for a refund. I'm here for a postmortem.'

Wildlife

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Plant Lady

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

Horti-Culture

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

Honest Vending

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

Painting taking root...

Botany Baby!

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

'I'd forgotten how lovely it looks outside!'

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

'This flower won't let go of my nose.'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Mad about Roses!

The Garden

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"Get out of my face!"

'That plant food really works!'

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

Medicinal plants

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Plant Reference Library - Flowers/Trees.