Botanical Banter Enthusiast Gifts

'I think you've talked it to death, dear.'

'What great fall blooms. These flowers make yummy pumpkin pie spice!'

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

"What are you in for?"

House plants

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

'Oh yes I talk to them all the time. Except the aspidistra. Not since the argument.'

"I have my green thumb, thanks to my black 'n' blue knees!"

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

'I SAID you'd threatened to throw them out once too often!'

"Have you got any man eating plants?"

You have the flu. Get plenty of rest and avoid lots of fluids.

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

House Plant Party

This plant is a lousy malingerer!

A windfall pear falling straight into a bag of windfall pears.

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

"It's time to bring in the wax begonias and your mother."

"You spoil that plant!"

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

"I used to be a tulip in a previous life" - Reincarnation

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

Blackbirds.

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"

F&E Landscape Architects. Ground cover plants are the Peter Pan of landscape design. The never "grow up"!

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

Give Chlorophyll.

Meeting Melanie's parents suddenly turns awkward.

You're forcing 2,000 tulips for one girl's sweet 16 party?! Yep. Haven't they heard? The country's having really tough times. Tree's Tree Nursery. Organic. Plant food. The family is concerned. They're making sacrifices, too. Oh? They wanted 3,000. Golden parachutes all around.

"Depending on how the next election plays out, we either get married at the botanical gardens or flee the country."

'I love plants and it also give me many more places to hide.'

'Don't listen to anyone. I think you're beautiful...even if you are a weed.'