Bookkeeping Buff Gifts

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

"Honey, this is that new accounting team I was telling you about. Due to certain irregularities on my part, they'll be taking the house, the car and a couple of the kids."

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

Sheep Ledger

"He'll do anything to say in power."

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

'The bad news is that we lost a lot of money last quarter... The good news is that it was a record.'

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

"Comparing our salaries with the workers' salaries makes me cry...with laughter!"

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

"I don't like the look of this."

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

Gone Bookkeepin'

"What comes after zillion?"

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

Spanish bank needs propping up.

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

I brake for federal bailouts.

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."