Bonus Giggler Gifts

'Your bonus as promised.'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Clown God

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The Main Types of Cheese

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'House wine?'

"I think it's important to have a hobby outside of work...mine is eating chocolate."

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"Fresh ground anti-depressants?"

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

2pm meet your Creator

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

'Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for the people who have to work with you.'