Bonus Expecter Gifts

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

The Evolution of the Bonus

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

'But the good news is, I still get a big bonus.'

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

'Remember Nitro, keep the engine running and once we've bagged the bonus cheques you floor the peddle.'

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

'I take it his performance review went well.'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

'Well, okay. So we almost bankrupted the country. But we've managed to make a slight profit thanks to the government bail out package, so who can possibly deny us a fat bonus this year?'

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

Charity Shop Income on Rise

'Call me a cockeyed optimist but I still believe big executive bonuses and perks can buy happiness.'

We don't think your 12 million dollar bonus is obscene. We think it's 12 million little ways to say 'I love you.'

"No Jenkins, that's NOT a sales graph - it's my salary increase."

Loose change fund: 'You get to keep whatever you can grab with one hand.'

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

'I'll have a big bonus please.'

"It looked better on pinterest."

'Tell me more about the obscene bonus package.'

'$800,000 per year? Is that with or without an incentive bonus?'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

'It's simple, really. This line stays high and sets a good example for the other line.'

"It's all very well for people to go on about restraining hedge fund managers...but they have not idea of what we do!"

'You're addicted to big bonuses. But the good news is there's a patch to treat that.'

The company didn't pay a bonus this year

"I've been too busy investing my enormous salary to be bothered running the company."

Bankers Christmas Bonus Dome.

"You've been vital to our great year. Your bonus is whatever you can carry out by midnight."