Bonus Achiever Gifts

'I must say, Simms, when you're hot you're HOT but when you're not you're NOT!'

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

The Bookworm

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

The Evolution of the Bonus

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

The rope to success.

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

"I've finally arrived. The C.E.O. stopped saying 'who the hell are you' whenever he sees me."

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

'But the good news is, I still get a big bonus.'

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

'Remember Nitro, keep the engine running and once we've bagged the bonus cheques you floor the peddle.'

Charity Shop Income on Rise

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

'I'll have a big bonus please.'

"No Jenkins, that's NOT a sales graph - it's my salary increase."

We don't think your 12 million dollar bonus is obscene. We think it's 12 million little ways to say 'I love you.'

'Call me a cockeyed optimist but I still believe big executive bonuses and perks can buy happiness.'

'Well, okay. So we almost bankrupted the country. But we've managed to make a slight profit thanks to the government bail out package, so who can possibly deny us a fat bonus this year?'

Loose change fund: 'You get to keep whatever you can grab with one hand.'

'Tell me more about the obscene bonus package.'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

'I take it his performance review went well.'

'$800,000 per year? Is that with or without an incentive bonus?'

"10,000 steps a day? I can do that."

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

'It's simple, really. This line stays high and sets a good example for the other line.'

"It's all very well for people to go on about restraining hedge fund managers...but they have not idea of what we do!"