Bonus Collector Gifts

'The reason I get a huge bonus is because I think I'm worth it.'

'Sure, I could stop spending, but who am I to trip the economy into a depression?'

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

Bonus on Board

Footballer's Wages

"I've been too busy investing my enormous salary to be bothered running the company."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

The Evolution of the Bonus

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

'Congratulations, Yomp - we're giving you a bigger carrot!'

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

'I call it a flat.'

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

Unusual Offers

'But the good news is, I still get a big bonus.'

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

'It's a snow mobile.'

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

'And in addition it seems that he has been eating some of the other children'.

'Remember Nitro, keep the engine running and once we've bagged the bonus cheques you floor the peddle.'

'This is your lucky day!'

"No Jenkins, that's NOT a sales graph - it's my salary increase."

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

We don't think your 12 million dollar bonus is obscene. We think it's 12 million little ways to say 'I love you.'