Compensation Collector Gifts

'This is your lucky day!'

The Litigant

"Mr. Packard will sue you now."

'You may take your bonus in cash, stock options or premium gas.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

Cat Show

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

'Congratulations, Yomp - we're giving you a bigger carrot!'

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

Unusual Offers

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"You should probably pass if they offer stock options."

'This one is for Hide and Seek.'

Economic Prosperity

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

The nurses here are so slow. Could this blanket be any thinner? The buttons on the tv remote are too darn small. Although her health had improved, Mabel's condition remained critical.

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

Many certificates of achievement on the wall.

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

I'm no longer welcome at the county fair.

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'