Commission Collector Gifts

'I paint what I see, in this case a commission worth eight hundred guineas.'

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

"I started a collection!"

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

"About your tax refund—would you like to donate it to help pay off the national debt?"

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

'This is your lucky day!'

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

"Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing!"

Need tickets.

"It's the government, they've spent all our taxes and want to know if we can send them some more."

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

"Brrr - it was so cold today I had my hands in my own pockets instead of someone elses!"

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

A Tax Auditor Prescribes Treatment For A Doctor's Condition

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

"The first bill is always a shock-everyone thinks Heaven will be free."

"I've been too busy investing my enormous salary to be bothered running the company."

irs, 'You were wrong -- they WEREN'T more afraid of me than I was of them.'

The first recorded case of overbooking: Noah having to leave the Unicorns behind.

A electrically-powered man checks tickets on the bumper cars.

"Oh, no. Death AND taxes."

"Fifty yard line! I bet you thought it was a silly necklace..."

"There's the man who ripped my Rolex off my wrist!"

'This is what I call the ultimate in money laundering.'