Promotion Achiever Gifts

'I've always liked young Perkins, but I can't help the feeling that he has let his recent success. . .go to his head!'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

Career opportunities

Upward Progress

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

"Pardon me, but why is there no ceiling this office?"

'You're going to have to work your way up to the ground floor like everyone else.'

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

I like you and I like your company!

"I need to clone myself."

"Ms. Ray, you're getting a promotion! You're no longer my Gal Friday. You're now my Gal Saturday."

"Why do you always assume I'm going down?"

"I've finally arrived. The C.E.O. stopped saying 'who the hell are you' whenever he sees me."

"You know, there's a corporate elevator."

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

"I'm beginning to think they replaced the ladder of success with a greased pole."

'I never dreamed the 'equal work for equal pay' bill would apply to me!'

'Ah, Gripes, you want to discuss a raise with me, eh? Come in, sit down, make yourself comfortable!'

'You are smarter, faster and more efficient than Carter... they's why I'm making you the new assistant to Carter!'

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

'You may feel lost and insignificant at first working for us.'

The March to the Top

They had a tendency to talk past one another.

"It's amazing to think he started out in the lobby."

'Look honey! I can touch my knees!'

Teacher and students.

"Excellent Simons, I admire a 'yes' man who's not afraid to say 'yes'."

Hey boss, it's April 13th. A couple years ago, you said come back April 13, 2015, and we could talk about you giving me a raise. Yes, but that was predicated on the notion that you'd need a raise by now. I see you're still alive. Clearly you haven't starved to death. You smell minty-fresh, so clearly you haven't been forced out onto the streets. Karl Marx said it best: "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need." I'm pretty sure that is not what Marx meant.