Body Image Jokers Pillows

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

Me when by BDD shows up

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

"Hey, great ab!"

"Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a coupla city types here, and a couple more city types right behind 'em, and a whole mess o' city types transferrin' to the Queens-bound F train."

"I feel so much more relaxed since I punched out my yoga instructor!"

'I'm hoping for a heat wave - I could afford to lose a few pounds.'

'If you count my outie, I've got a seven-pack.'

"You're really serious about that diet!"

"Great. Now I have to worry about my weight."

I hate the spring ritual of not being able to wear a bulky sweater to cover the weight I've gained during the winter.

"But is it Organic?"

Fairy Tales in Pandemic Time

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

'The secret to great abs? Marker pen.'

"I liked the scale better before we leveled the floor. It read ten pounds lighter on a slant."

"Do my glutes look big in these?"

'I can tell when it's getting close to New Year's.. my liver starts to quiver.'

'Great, more trans-fats and cholesterol!'

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I ask you - does this suit make me look fat?"

'Sorry I had the liposuction machine on blow instead of suck.'

A thin cricket batsman

'Doc says I'm in ship-shape.'

'Honey, does the wild pig that I swallowed whole for lunch make me look fat? No, dear, it's just the lighting.