Body Image Jokers Gifts

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

Me when by BDD shows up

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

"Hey, great ab!"

"Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a coupla city types here, and a couple more city types right behind 'em, and a whole mess o' city types transferrin' to the Queens-bound F train."

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

"I feel so much more relaxed since I punched out my yoga instructor!"

'I'm hoping for a heat wave - I could afford to lose a few pounds.'

"Great. Now I have to worry about my weight."

I hate the spring ritual of not being able to wear a bulky sweater to cover the weight I've gained during the winter.

"You're really serious about that diet!"

"But is it Organic?"

'If you count my outie, I've got a seven-pack.'

"Feeling like a skinny person living in a fat person's body is actually quite normal."

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

Fairy Tales in Pandemic Time

'The secret to great abs? Marker pen.'

"I liked the scale better before we leveled the floor. It read ten pounds lighter on a slant."

"Do my glutes look big in these?"

'I can tell when it's getting close to New Year's.. my liver starts to quiver.'

'Great, more trans-fats and cholesterol!'

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I ask you - does this suit make me look fat?"

'Doc says I'm in ship-shape.'

'Sorry I had the liposuction machine on blow instead of suck.'

"No matter how much I workout, my arms still look sticks."

A thin cricket batsman