Body Image Humorist Gifts

I hate the spring ritual of not being able to wear a bulky sweater to cover the weight I've gained during the winter.

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Bench Press Accident

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"I can't have anything that's a food."

"Still on your left."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

Jeff was watching his weight.

"Hey, great ab!"

"I'm a HUNK of burning love!"

'I think my dieting may be getting out of hand.'

'I hate her...'

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

"Let's undress and make love!" "I am undressed!"

Can't touch my toes without bending my knees, doctor!

"Welcome to Vanity Workshop. For the next thousand years you're to read out the size labels you've removed from your clothing."

A tight skirt makes a woman look slim!

'If you can't get me buff can you at least make me cuddly?'

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'

"Great. Now I have to worry about my weight."

She's Not Heavy, She's a Heroine

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

Gym. He claims he does that routine for an hour before starting his cardio workout. Do you believe him? It's a bit of a stretch!

"Feeling like a skinny person living in a fat person's body is actually quite normal."

Pontius Pilates

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.