Body Image Commentator Pillows

'I need a fatter friend.'

'I feel fat.'

'Someone stole my identity, but left my big hips.'

The Burger and the Whopper.

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"That's a big fat lie!"

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Aging Problems

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

Too Skinny, Too Fat

"I can't have anything that's a food."

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

'Oh no! You're obviously smaller than me, Joy!' 'You're not fat, 'cause those pants were tight on me too Verl.'

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

"If I had known I was going to evolve, I would have worked on my beach bod."

"Hey, great ab!"

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

'I envy your metabolism.'

'I hate her...'

'I'm hoping for a heat wave - I could afford to lose a few pounds.'

'Do I climb it or wax it?'

All dressing rooms now have dimmer switches

'It wouldn't be so bad if they were pert and perky.'