Body Horror Fan Gifts

"How thoughtful of them to have removed their heads!"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Transylvanian backpackers.

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

Chiller Theatre

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Silence of the Chickens...

Dead Funny

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

The creature from the trailer by the dried-up lagoon.

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

Solar Frankenstein

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

Open House of Horrors

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

"Harry?... Is that you?"

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

Frankenstein's Monster's PC.

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'

Monsters looking for a new bed to move under.