Boastful Bond Gifts

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

D.I.Y with dad.

"People who don't believe in soulmates just haven't met the right animal."

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

Father and son with matching beer crates.

"I'd like my daughter to know something about engines."

"Mom wants us to spend 'Quality time' together, so don't blame me."

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

"Don’t worry. You’re looking at the Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School long-jump champion."

"She's pretty smart. She already knows enough to spit out vegetables."

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

'Let daddy know if you get a bite.'

"Some day, son, all these aches and pains will be yours."

'It's only a few minutes before supper, but let's try. One, two, three...'

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'Oh yeah, well, MY DADDY can scare ELEPHANTS!'

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

"The thing of it is I don't even fish!"

'The only thing better than a good friends is a good friend with chocolate. Got any?'

"Someday you'll understand the ways of the world...with the exception of tax and health insurance forms."

"It's from the We Experience Parenthood More Fully Than You collection."

"We had these twigs flown in from Italy."

Albatross bragging about his latest catch...

'A few of us are getting together after work for a little R&R. If you've got a blankie, you're welcome to join us.'

'I'm not surprised we have to wait so long. I'd have to be really hungry to eat a worm.'

'He was competitive to the very end.'

'And that's only the size of the fly.'

"Before it's too late, Dad, I want to take the opportunity to say 'I love you.'"

'This should come out just right.'

"We have a lot in common. We both hate homework, vegetables, bedtime, chores, long car trips. . ."