Boastful Parenting Gifts

"It's from the We Experience Parenthood More Fully Than You collection."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Cry babies.

Impressing dad.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

Children's artwork exhibition.

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

'She posted her first blog today.'

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'Dear, Junior ate his first house today!'

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"Vanessa has done a not bad de Kooning."

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."

"We're going to the park to size up the competition."

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

This is Twig's scene. Get ready! That's her! Where? There! Too late. Nice shot of Jessie Caldwell. Wasn't she fabulous.

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

'Do you have any of those cars with 'My Child Is An Honor Student' bumper stickers on them?'

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

"Now, is this the kind of painting your Mommy would be proud to post on her Instagram?"

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

'I have one just like this at home. My five year old son painted it.'