Prideful Parent Gifts

"I'm really proud of my daughter. She's a thorn in the side of the patriarchy."

Proud parent and honor roll student.

Proud Mum.

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

'Remember, you said if I became an honor student, you wouldn't embarrass me with one of those bumper stickers.'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Cry babies.

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Brian was very proud of his dog.

Impressing dad.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

Children's artwork exhibition.

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'Baby's first two-step.'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'She posted her first blog today.'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"He looks just like your husband."

'Dear, Junior ate his first house today!'