Prideful Parent Ponderer Gifts

"Don't you want to have parents who can brag about their children?"

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

Cry babies.

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

Impressing dad.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

Children's artwork exhibition.

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

'She posted her first blog today.'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'Baby's first two-step.'

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"He looks just like your husband."

'Dear, Junior ate his first house today!'

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

"Vanessa has done a not bad de Kooning."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

This is Twig's scene. Get ready! That's her! Where? There! Too late. Nice shot of Jessie Caldwell. Wasn't she fabulous.

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'