Prideful Parent Ponderer Pillows

"Don't you want to have parents who can brag about their children?"

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

Cry babies.

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

Impressing dad.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

Children's artwork exhibition.

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'She posted her first blog today.'

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

'Baby's first two-step.'

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'Dear, Junior ate his first house today!'

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"He looks just like your husband."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"We're going to the park to size up the competition."

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'