Proud Parent Humor Gifts

'She has great communication skills.'

"So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?"

'She'll be on the internet before we know it! She's googling already!'

My son, the politician, has nothing to hide.

'My mom correctly points out that I haven't gotten the ball yet.'

'Now look at what you did! You upset the garbage can and scattered garbage everywhere. Son, I'm proud of you.'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

Impressing dad.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

Children's artwork exhibition.

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'Baby's first two-step.'

Trick or Tweet

'She posted her first blog today.'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"Vanessa has done a not bad de Kooning."