Parent Humor Appreciator Gifts

"His parents think the way to school is too dangerous."

I'm almost full grown, you've got to stop treating me like a kid!

"Careful with that corn. It's a gateway food to other vegetables."

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

Official Team Cap With Beard

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

"But mom, I can't clean my room now. I just won the Kids Bedroom Seal of Approval!"

'Daddy's busy - Go draw on the wall.'

"No dessert until you eat all your candy."

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

'Don't clean me up too good... no one will recognize me.'

"I'm trying to make them look less scary."

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

'Now, all I need is a bird.'

"Your mom is a little overprotective, isn't she?"

Baby eating "Uploading", Baby on toilet "Downloading"

'If you're too hot, get back in the water: I'm not buying you ice cream!'

Is it true kids your age lie 14 times a day? That's outrageous! Yeah, mom. It's sooo off. Good to hear! 14 seems high to me. 8 sounds right.

I don't understand the way kids today express themselves and communicate. I don't understand the way kids today express themselves and communicate.

I arrived, I Ate, I Conquered (aka Pooped).