New Parent Humor Appreciator Gifts

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

Baby reading 'To do list'.

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

Husband and Child in Pram

They Removed my Brain.

A (P)ram.

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

'Mom, will the baby come with bundled software?'

Beware of teething baby.

'Daddy's busy - Go draw on the wall.'

Honey, Can You Buy Me Some Sanitary Towels?

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

A woman looks at greeting cards in a section entitled "New Pie".

"Oh, she's got her father's male hormones"

'Sandra, I think the baby needs his oil changed.'

'I don't believe it - At school all my teachers said I was an underachiever!'

Twins

I don't understand the way kids today express themselves and communicate. I don't understand the way kids today express themselves and communicate.

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