Humorous Parenting Gifts

"I see you vaping in there."

"I can't help but get emotional...it's not every day your little one leaves the nest and heads off to the first day of school..."

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

Trick or Tweet

"Good news. It's a small pig."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'