Boardroom Storyteller Gifts

"We need to think outside the pentangle."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

"That's a Hula Hoop. I asked you to find a loophole."

The food chain is like a huge corporation, the only one who really enjoys it, is the guy at the top!

'What kind of a mission statement is that?'

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"Nobody is to blame until we pick someone."

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

'The 'meows' have it...'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

"Unlike other companies, we are going to take the high road through this rough time, even if, at some point, we're obliged to raid the employee pension fund! Is everybody clear on that?"

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"Sir, your greed is showing."

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

"Carl, let me start off by saying I'm prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt and treat you as a full-fledged human being."

'I think we're setting the bar too low.'

'Would you believe it took 60 people and a half a million dollars to come up with that?'

'I say, let's not be hasty in enforcing the mandatory retirement age.'