Boardroom Dramatist Gifts

"This is my son. I'm grooming him to take over from me."

"NAY!!"

"Well, it's time to vote. Those in favor of Ron's motion, please bury our face in your hands and moan 'It's utterly hopeless, nothing can be done, we're all dead!' Those opposed, signify by storming out of the room, muttering 'That bunch of gutless quitte

On the seventh day the ideation got a little heated.

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

"Tim and I both fundamentally disagree with your stance on this subject!"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

"That's a Hula Hoop. I asked you to find a loophole."

The food chain is like a huge corporation, the only one who really enjoys it, is the guy at the top!

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

"Nobody is to blame until we pick someone."

Well, everything's going great! I guess it's time to bring in the naysayers.

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'The 'meows' have it...'

"Unlike other companies, we are going to take the high road through this rough time, even if, at some point, we're obliged to raid the employee pension fund! Is everybody clear on that?"

"Carl, let me start off by saying I'm prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt and treat you as a full-fledged human being."

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

"Sir, your greed is showing."

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."