Boardroom Raconteur Gifts

"Great first quarter guys but I'm a little concerned about the future."

"Pretty good day. I wasn't linked to anything incriminating."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

"That's a Hula Hoop. I asked you to find a loophole."

The food chain is like a huge corporation, the only one who really enjoys it, is the guy at the top!

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

"So many take-overs and mergers, nobody remembers who he was."

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

"Nobody is to blame until we pick someone."

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

'I think our only choice at this point is to take the next big step.'

'We're a democracy here, as long as everyone votes in favour of what I want!'

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."