Blood Sugar Jokesters Pillows

Blood Desert

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

'I just came back from the allergist. I'm allergic to life.'

"...and the King Cholesterol Meal comes with a side order of CPR."

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

'If you're into preparing healthy meals then I recommend the apricot brandy. It contains the antioxidant beta carotene.'

What goes up must come down, except for your cholesterol, apparently.

"Turns out it was all water weight."

'Pistachio ice cream does not cpont as a serving of greens.'

"I feel so much more relaxed since I punched out my yoga instructor!"

' ... and a side order of statins.'

'I'm hoping for a heat wave - I could afford to lose a few pounds.'

'I have to ask; do you really care if your double-cheese bacon sausage pepperoni pizza is gluten-free?'

"Easy on the carbs, Carl."

"This IS our diet pizza. As I told you, it's a hole pie."

'...time you had your ears syringed?'

'I've got rotten teeth and you need glasses, ironic does not even cover it!'

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

"Hold on! A new study says those are actually bad for you."

Health food and junk food

'Maybe I've got washboard abs underneath - you ever think that?'

Am I in good shape, Doc? If you think "spherical" is a good shape. (Published originally on January 9, 2014.)

Hospital Reception - Ring for assistance

'I'm trying to watch my weight so I hope that's low fat!'

'I've got to watch my health - I'm Type 2 diabolic!'

'You passed the physical, but your underwear is on the critical list.'

F. Uh-oh

Private Consultant: Keep Out!

Everything's a joke to you Fuscos! Even water retention! ??

"No idea if it's gluten free, Hansel. Can't you just eat the stupid thing?"

"You seem to be suffering from a bit of 'fluid retention', mainly beer and wine."