Cholesterol Joke Taker Pillows

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Good Cholesterol.

'I just came back from the allergist. I'm allergic to life.'

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

"The doctor said it wouldn't hurt to fudge a little on my diet."

'If you're into preparing healthy meals then I recommend the apricot brandy. It contains the antioxidant beta carotene.'

'Pistachio ice cream does not cpont as a serving of greens.'

' ... and a side order of statins.'

'Are you sure sitting on a bean bag chair isn't considered getting a daily requirement of vegetables?'

'I have to ask; do you really care if your double-cheese bacon sausage pepperoni pizza is gluten-free?'

"Easy on the carbs, Carl."

"This IS our diet pizza. As I told you, it's a hole pie."

'...time you had your ears syringed?'

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

"Hold on! A new study says those are actually bad for you."

'It hurts when I cackle!'

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof!! When you die, may I hang you up in my garden for the blue tits..?"

Health food and junk food

'Looks to me as though you have an overactive thyroid!'

'Maybe I've got washboard abs underneath - you ever think that?'

"In my expert medical opinion, you are suffering from hypochondria."

'I'm trying to watch my weight so I hope that's low fat!'

Nightmares donuts have.

'I've got to watch my health - I'm Type 2 diabolic!'

'You passed the physical, but your underwear is on the critical list.'

Pre-digested convenience foods.