Cholesterol Joke Taker Gifts

What goes up must come down, except for your cholesterol, apparently.

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Good Cholesterol.

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

'I just came back from the allergist. I'm allergic to life.'

"The doctor said it wouldn't hurt to fudge a little on my diet."

Maintenance & Repairs. No wonder health care is so expensive, they told me to take to tablets every four hours.

'If you're into preparing healthy meals then I recommend the apricot brandy. It contains the antioxidant beta carotene.'

'Pistachio ice cream does not cpont as a serving of greens.'

' ... and a side order of statins.'

'I have to ask; do you really care if your double-cheese bacon sausage pepperoni pizza is gluten-free?'

'Are you sure sitting on a bean bag chair isn't considered getting a daily requirement of vegetables?'

"Well, it's like they say; 230 is the new 180."

"This IS our diet pizza. As I told you, it's a hole pie."

"Easy on the carbs, Carl."

'...time you had your ears syringed?'

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

"Hold on! A new study says those are actually bad for you."

'It hurts when I cackle!'

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof!! When you die, may I hang you up in my garden for the blue tits..?"

'Maybe I've got washboard abs underneath - you ever think that?'

"In my expert medical opinion, you are suffering from hypochondria."

Health food and junk food

Am I in good shape, Doc? If you think "spherical" is a good shape. (Published originally on January 9, 2014.)

'Looks to me as though you have an overactive thyroid!'

'I'm trying to watch my weight so I hope that's low fat!'

'You passed the physical, but your underwear is on the critical list.'

Nightmares donuts have.

'I've got to watch my health - I'm Type 2 diabolic!'

"No idea if it's gluten free, Hansel. Can't you just eat the stupid thing?"

Everything's a joke to you Fuscos! Even water retention! ??

Podiatry. If the frostbite was any worse we'd have to amputate. You just barely stayed out of the "toe away" zone!