Blood Sugar Jokesters Gifts

Blood Desert

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'I just came back from the allergist. I'm allergic to life.'

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

'If you're into preparing healthy meals then I recommend the apricot brandy. It contains the antioxidant beta carotene.'

"...and the King Cholesterol Meal comes with a side order of CPR."

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

'Pistachio ice cream does not cpont as a serving of greens.'

"I feel so much more relaxed since I punched out my yoga instructor!"

' ... and a side order of statins.'

'I'm hoping for a heat wave - I could afford to lose a few pounds.'

'I have to ask; do you really care if your double-cheese bacon sausage pepperoni pizza is gluten-free?'

"This IS our diet pizza. As I told you, it's a hole pie."

"Easy on the carbs, Carl."

'...time you had your ears syringed?'

'I've got rotten teeth and you need glasses, ironic does not even cover it!'

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

"Hold on! A new study says those are actually bad for you."

Health food and junk food

'Maybe I've got washboard abs underneath - you ever think that?'

Hospital Reception - Ring for assistance

'I'm trying to watch my weight so I hope that's low fat!'

'I've got to watch my health - I'm Type 2 diabolic!'

'You passed the physical, but your underwear is on the critical list.'

"No beans for you, you're on a fart free diet."

Private Consultant: Keep Out!

"My body was a temple, now it's the Acropolis."