Blonde Lover Gifts

'Alice, the blonde, speaking.'

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'Your wife has given birth to the blues.'

Piano Keyboard

"Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!"

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

B.B. King

"Herb's from Texas."

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

'I'll bet you taught him that!'

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

Cowboy directions 'Up yonder', 'Down yonder', 'This-A-Way' and 'That-A-Way'.

Tiny jazz musicians play large drum and bass.

'I took my money out of the bank and put it into municipal bonds...'

"She's a golden retriever...I've always had a thing for blondes!"

'You see, I didn't lie, the Internet is full of puppy and kitten videos: We could make a fortune!'

New Orleans Will Come Back Blues.

Tyrannosaurus Tex

This next piece is entitled "Concerto No. 2 in C Minor Blues." Sign the economy's hurting everyone.

Ranch Dressing

". . . Woke up this mornin', and had the blues - couldn't afford prescription for anti-depressants!"

'This is the 'I Fell Behind On My Credit Card Payments, So They Took My Guitar Away Blues'. I'll be performing it a cappella.'

'Would you like me to sing you the news?'

'This next song's a little bluesy number about Ebola research.'

"This next song is about those times when you don't feel really happy or really sad, but just feel okay."

"Woke up this morning, forgot my apple id..."

Social Media Blues

"And for that pain deep down in your soul, I'm going to prescribe the saxophone."

"I'm 65, Mom - I'll play my Blondie records as loud as I want!"

Elizabeth I

Blues Night.

"This is what happens when you marry an obedience school dropout."