Chanson Lover Gifts

Edith Piaf

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

Economy - USA.

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

Priest

Do you have to play air guitar every time we sing?

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

Bashful in Nashville

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Jeff Tweedy caricature.

Aggression/Security

George Martin

Tipping Pain Chart

'My love is like a red red rose...'

'As you can clearly see, our profits continue to climb well into the third quarter.'

"Herb's from Texas."

Jerry Lordan

Karaoke night.

I've checked - it goes down to the basement.

Musical genres

Cowboy directions 'Up yonder', 'Down yonder', 'This-A-Way' and 'That-A-Way'.

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

Tyrannosaurus Tex

"Hey, Dad, I've been working on a song for our family band!"

"I'll be broadminded up in heaven, but here on earth you're still a whore..."

"Wait, so his first whole sentence was 'I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day'?!"

'Cole Porter has the lyrics checked'

Graph to find your IQ

"I'm sorry, sir, but Dostoyevsky is not considered summer reading. I'll have to ask you to come with me."