Blended Family Navigator T-Shirts

"When you say you want to speak to my parents, do you mean my mommy and her new husband, or my daddy and his new wife or my mommy and daddy?"

'My parents are divorced...and I'm doing very nicely, thank you.'

"My mom has a new boyfriend, my dad has a new girlfriend and all I got was a new therapist."

'Hi! New daddy!'

'I know we both have kids from a previous marriage, but the term is 'blended famil', not 'bundled family.''

"...failing is ok."

'How do you do? I'm your wife's husband by a previous marriage.'

"No, I don't think we all agree 'It's what Mom would have wanted.'"

"You both agreeing to mediation is a good start. So, your master, Rex, and your mistress, Felix, have decided to get married."

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

'sugar and spice my eye.'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

'None of the other things had instructions.'

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

'Do you realize that I spend more time out than I do in?'

My changing Body: A Guide For New Fathers

Reason #149 for making sure the whole family wears seat belts: It helps keep the kids quiet.

"This baby will hold more than a hundred and twenty-five cubic feet of family rancor."

'I think he's proud of his ability to be in the way in more than one room at a time.'

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

Kids go to school and mom goes to the psychiatric clinic.

"Wet wipe?"

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

'No Jennifer! I never head of mad broccoli disease.'

'I'm afraid your child support payments will be quite substantial.'

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.