Biking Family Navigator T-Shirts

"Hannah, Where's Your Helmet?

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

'sugar and spice my eye.'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

Biker couple with their baby in a side car.

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

"You have arrived at your destination."

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

"This baby will hold more than a hundred and twenty-five cubic feet of family rancor."

Reason #149 for making sure the whole family wears seat belts: It helps keep the kids quiet.

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

"No, we're not there yet because your father refuses to ask for directions!"

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Boring Rainy Day Sitting Area.'

'Would you like me to have a word with educational psychologist about Julie?'

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

"You both agreeing to mediation is a good start. So, your master, Rex, and your mistress, Felix, have decided to get married."

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."

"Why do they tell us not to be childish? We're only nine!"

"And the lovely, little daughter understood her daddy was tired from harvesting people's personal data all day and went to sleep. The end."

"I've been a mess since Jake left for college, so now we have a boy who comes in a couple of times a week to leave wet towels all over and challenge everything I say."

"When you say you want to speak to my parents, do you mean my mommy and her new husband, or my daddy and his new wife or my mommy and daddy?"

Tantrum Scene Do Not Cross

'I've had it for the last seventeen years.'

"Mom wasn't impressed with my suggestion that we 'agree to disagree'."

"Has anyone seen my half-chewed-up piece of dehydrated squirrel carcass?"

"Dad's working out car charging points if we want to visit grandad."

"Can you hold that thought until I consult my new 'Excuses For Mom' app?"

"At least now when mom and dad fight it's quieter."