Biking Family Navigator Gifts

"Hannah, Where's Your Helmet?

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

'sugar and spice my eye.'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

Biker couple with their baby in a side car.

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

"You have arrived at your destination."

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

You can't focus on the cost of raising a child. True. They do have benefits. Mom! The glue spilled into your underwear drawer! Dad! Where's the toilet plunger? Though nothing specific leaps to mind.

"This baby will hold more than a hundred and twenty-five cubic feet of family rancor."

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

Mother's Day: 2nd Sunday in May, Others Day: Every day before and after the 2nd Sunday in May.

Reason #149 for making sure the whole family wears seat belts: It helps keep the kids quiet.

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

"No, we're not there yet because your father refuses to ask for directions!"

'Would you like me to have a word with educational psychologist about Julie?'

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Boring Rainy Day Sitting Area.'

"You both agreeing to mediation is a good start. So, your master, Rex, and your mistress, Felix, have decided to get married."

"Why do they tell us not to be childish? We're only nine!"

"I've been a mess since Jake left for college, so now we have a boy who comes in a couple of times a week to leave wet towels all over and challenge everything I say."

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."

"And the lovely, little daughter understood her daddy was tired from harvesting people's personal data all day and went to sleep. The end."

"When you say you want to speak to my parents, do you mean my mommy and her new husband, or my daddy and his new wife or my mommy and daddy?"

Tantrum Scene Do Not Cross

'I've had it for the last seventeen years.'

"Dad's working out car charging points if we want to visit grandad."

"I handled his last adventure. You take this one."

Dad reaching into medicine cupboard

"If you're sending me home here are my mom's phone numbers plus blogs, instagram, twitter and snapchat accounts."