Family Dynamic Navigator Gifts

'If at first you don't succeed, don't plan on moving back home.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Ahhh...'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

'sugar and spice my eye.'

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have called me Euthanasia!"

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

"I like to think that each generation will need a little less therapy than the generation before."

'None of the other things had instructions.'

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

"My seven-year-old is a prince, but my forty-seven-year-old is a pain in the ass."

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

You can't focus on the cost of raising a child. True. They do have benefits. Mom! The glue spilled into your underwear drawer! Dad! Where's the toilet plunger? Though nothing specific leaps to mind.

"All Vangundy is or ever shall be he owes to his mother."

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

'Do you realize that I spend more time out than I do in?'

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

'I think he's proud of his ability to be in the way in more than one room at a time.'

My changing Body: A Guide For New Fathers

'Mom! Hunter keeps saying I'm not a thoroughbred. Can you show him my papers?'

Kids go to school and mom goes to the psychiatric clinic.