Family Dynamics Navigator Gifts

"We often have parents acting as guarantors..."

"The penalty for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law..."

"No one can lay on a guilt trip like my mother."

"Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Kevin. I had a very nice time."

"Nightmare, huh? Your mother or mine?"

'Is insanity hereditary?'

'Mom, I know all about the birds and the bees, it's the girls and the boys that bugs me.'

"Look, who's driving this car, you or your mum?"

'Hey, girls...I guess the news of your dad and me may have felt like you were a bird hitting a window...I don't want you to worry about any sudden changed in rules around here...Ok...maybe a few changes.'

"What should we get your mother for her birthday? - How about travelers' checks?"

"Actually, I have all the action figures I can handle."

"I can't live with your parents. Your dad just told me to clean our room or we don't get any dinner!"

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'Ahhh...'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

Polygamists' Picnic

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

'I demand a DNA test.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"Having nannies really changes you."

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have called me Euthanasia!"

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'