Family Dynamics Watcher Gifts

"Thanks heavens your Mothers gone. It's hard work being nice to you"

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

'I demand a DNA test.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

"Having nannies really changes you."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

'Simple case of gravity, mom.'

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

I think it's time he left home.'