Quirky Family Dynamics Observer Gifts

'Using mother's photo to scare off the birds isn't funny!'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

What are we doing today? Installing raised beds. Then we'll plant them for a couple who want organic vegetables. Brilliant, Dad. Tree's Tree Nursery. You take the hard work out of gardening. Right. And give it to me! Right again!

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

Origins Of Evolution

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'Simple case of gravity, mom.'

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

I think it's time he left home.'

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"Mom, are you going to properly vet the baby before you bring her home from the hospital?"

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

"It's easy to understand the theory of evolution when you have a brother!"

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

"It's from the children. They'd like us to let them in."

"If it slows down, just ask my father about the murder he always swears he did not commit."

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

Black and white penguins with gray and black and white child.

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

Brilliance runs in my family, but in a zig-zag pattern.