Family Dynamics Watcher T-Shirts

"Thanks heavens your Mothers gone. It's hard work being nice to you"

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

'I demand a DNA test.'

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

What are we doing today? Installing raised beds. Then we'll plant them for a couple who want organic vegetables. Brilliant, Dad. Tree's Tree Nursery. You take the hard work out of gardening. Right. And give it to me! Right again!

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"Having nannies really changes you."

He wanted a different one.

"I appreciate that you brought me to 'Take our daughters to work day' all those years ago, dad, but I still have to let you go!"

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

Origins Of Evolution

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

'Simple case of gravity, mom.'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."