Family Dynamics Observers T-Shirts

"No, John, I don’t remember the ‘Summer of Love.’ But I do recall the spring when you hit on my sister!"

"When do your in-laws leave?"

'What Burl just said was to sit down 'cause he's not ready to take you to the store yet, Ma!!'

'It's like this: I love this rubber tire and as soon as we're able, we're going to get married.'

"Take off the armband, Steve, we're only visiting my mother."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

What are we doing today? Installing raised beds. Then we'll plant them for a couple who want organic vegetables. Brilliant, Dad. Tree's Tree Nursery. You take the hard work out of gardening. Right. And give it to me! Right again!

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

"I appreciate that you brought me to 'Take our daughters to work day' all those years ago, dad, but I still have to let you go!"

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

Origins Of Evolution

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

'Simple case of gravity, mom.'

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

I think it's time he left home.'

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

"It's easy to understand the theory of evolution when you have a brother!"

"You work for the family business, and I am your father, not the patriarchal oppressor..."

"If it slows down, just ask my father about the murder he always swears he did not commit."