Family Dynamic Explorer Gifts

"I'm Jewish and Don is Catholic, but we're raising the kids as wolves."

"Forget it, kid, I'm tired of getting hit up every time your school has a fundraiser. The granny train stops here."

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

'All your luggage is lost, but apparently you still have plenty of baggage.'

"Are you too old to remember all the advice you tried to give me when I was too young to care?"

Embarrassing Parents

'Oh,Gawd! It looks like your Mother!'

''In order!' You've met my relatives! I want it left in disorder!'

"I'm turning into my mother."

'I was a teenager once too, dear.'

'I suppose a loan to send them to summer camp could be called a home improvement loan.'

"You don't get it, Daddy, because they're not targeting you."

"What's this they say, Billy, about a new, more virulent strain of teen-ager?"

'We have no children, me being a school dinner lady and Fred driving the school bus.'

"Daddy's going to read you a story."

'We run our family like a democracy, and Dad sure has aged in office.'

'And is this antagonistic relationship with your father an ongoing thing?'

'She lets the aupair drive the 4x4 to prep school.'

'I may be taking Daddy's little girl but Daddy can still give her pocket money..

'His daughter married a civilian!'

'But father, surely you're not planning to die poor.'

"She's so cute! She's in the garden all on her own playing mummies and runaway daddies."

"Your allowance is in the mail."

'If I was a bird - do you know who I'd poop on first?'

"Seven hundred wives? I'll bet he had a lot of inlaw problems?"

"I liked it better when it was quiet in here!"

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

"We didn't raise you to call people back without listening to their voicemail."

"I don't want to drink to excess this Christmas, let's visit your parents."

"Please support my continuing efforts to disappoint my parents."

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have called me Euthanasia!"

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"It's half past November, young man! Get back in your room and hibernate!"

"My brother saw my text calling him a mean, ugly selfish jerk. He didn't buy the autocorrect excuse."

"Your room isn't a rubbish tip! go and mess it up now!!"