Large Family Navigator Gifts

"......And finally I'd like to thank my 5 brothers, 4 sisters, 3 uncles, 2 aunts, 23 nephews and nieces and 37 cousins."

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

'sugar and spice my eye.'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

'None of the other things had instructions.'

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

"Don't take it personally, Dad, but if I need advice, I'll ask my phone...it's a lot smarter than you are!"

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

"This baby will hold more than a hundred and twenty-five cubic feet of family rancor."

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

"Wet wipe?"

Kids go to school and mom goes to the psychiatric clinic.

"It's amazing how much he's like one of his dads."

'I know we're not 'almost there,' but I keep asking just to keep her focused.'

"Ironically, this all started with a little poke on Facebook."

My changing Body: A Guide For New Fathers

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

Reason #149 for making sure the whole family wears seat belts: It helps keep the kids quiet.

'I think he's proud of his ability to be in the way in more than one room at a time.'

'Do you realize that I spend more time out than I do in?'

Mother's Day: 2nd Sunday in May, Others Day: Every day before and after the 2nd Sunday in May.

'No Jennifer! I never head of mad broccoli disease.'

'I'm afraid your child support payments will be quite substantial.'

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

"No, we're not there yet because your father refuses to ask for directions!"

'We really should ask the driver of that car for tips on coping with twins.'