Large Family Navigator Gifts

"......And finally I'd like to thank my 5 brothers, 4 sisters, 3 uncles, 2 aunts, 23 nephews and nieces and 37 cousins."

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

'sugar and spice my eye.'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

'None of the other things had instructions.'

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

"Don't take it personally, Dad, but if I need advice, I'll ask my phone...it's a lot smarter than you are!"

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

'I know we're not 'almost there,' but I keep asking just to keep her focused.'

Reason #149 for making sure the whole family wears seat belts: It helps keep the kids quiet.

"This baby will hold more than a hundred and twenty-five cubic feet of family rancor."

My changing Body: A Guide For New Fathers

'Do you realize that I spend more time out than I do in?'

"Wet wipe?"

'I think he's proud of his ability to be in the way in more than one room at a time.'

Kids go to school and mom goes to the psychiatric clinic.

"It's amazing how much he's like one of his dads."

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

'No Jennifer! I never head of mad broccoli disease.'

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

'I'm afraid your child support payments will be quite substantial.'

"No, we're not there yet because your father refuses to ask for directions!"

'We really should ask the driver of that car for tips on coping with twins.'

'Eddie's mom has nerves of steel. She didn't send me home 'til almost four.'