Family Nest Navigator T-Shirts

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

A Preschool of Fish

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

'sugar and spice my eye.'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

"Well yes, technically, I've only had three kids of my own, but I've raised two cuckoo chicks as well..."

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

'None of the other things had instructions.'

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Darling, there's an offer for a time-share nest in Florida: Should we apply?"

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

"You mentioned separation anxiety. Don't worry, she'll be all right."

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

"This baby will hold more than a hundred and twenty-five cubic feet of family rancor."

'I think he's proud of his ability to be in the way in more than one room at a time.'

My changing Body: A Guide For New Fathers

Reason #149 for making sure the whole family wears seat belts: It helps keep the kids quiet.

"Ironically, this all started with a little poke on Facebook."

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

Mother's Day: 2nd Sunday in May, Others Day: Every day before and after the 2nd Sunday in May.

'Do you realize that I spend more time out than I do in?'

Kids go to school and mom goes to the psychiatric clinic.

"Wet wipe?"

'I'm afraid your child support payments will be quite substantial.'

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

"No, we're not there yet because your father refuses to ask for directions!"