Blended Family Navigator Pillows

"When you say you want to speak to my parents, do you mean my mommy and her new husband, or my daddy and his new wife or my mommy and daddy?"

'My parents are divorced...and I'm doing very nicely, thank you.'

"My mom has a new boyfriend, my dad has a new girlfriend and all I got was a new therapist."

'Hi! New daddy!'

'I know we both have kids from a previous marriage, but the term is 'blended famil', not 'bundled family.''

"...failing is ok."

'How do you do? I'm your wife's husband by a previous marriage.'

"No, I don't think we all agree 'It's what Mom would have wanted.'"

"You both agreeing to mediation is a good start. So, your master, Rex, and your mistress, Felix, have decided to get married."

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

'sugar and spice my eye.'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

'None of the other things had instructions.'

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

'I think he's proud of his ability to be in the way in more than one room at a time.'

My changing Body: A Guide For New Fathers

"Wet wipe?"

Mother's Day: 2nd Sunday in May, Others Day: Every day before and after the 2nd Sunday in May.

"Ironically, this all started with a little poke on Facebook."

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

Kids go to school and mom goes to the psychiatric clinic.

Reason #149 for making sure the whole family wears seat belts: It helps keep the kids quiet.

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

'Do you realize that I spend more time out than I do in?'

"This baby will hold more than a hundred and twenty-five cubic feet of family rancor."