Modern Family Navigator Pillows

'Happy Father's Day....send all.'

Modern relationships on mailboxes.

'Your dinner will be late...I'm still on my business lunch.'

"If you can't bond with him, at least 'like' him on social media."

"I want to deprive him of all the things I had too much of."

"Ted Burton! How are you? How's my ex-wife? My kids? My dog?"

"I spilled my drink on my laptop, now it won't work. I'm hoping there's a statute of limitations that will get me out of being punished."

"Can you hold that thought until I consult my new 'Excuses For Mom' app?"

'Guess what, Mom - Suzie and I just found out that we have the same ex-Dad!'

"I would be happy to help you with the dishes, Mom, but I'm afraid I'd get water in my phone."

"And the lovely, little daughter understood her daddy was tired from harvesting people's personal data all day and went to sleep. The end."

"As a blended family, we've learned to set limits. I limit myself to margaritas and he limits himself to mojitos."

No Immediate Danger

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

Bashful in Nashville

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

'sugar and spice my eye.'

'None of the other things had instructions.'

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

'This app tells me how near my friends are...'

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'

'There's more information available now than ever before. I can only block out so much of it.'

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

"Don't take it personally, Dad, but if I need advice, I'll ask my phone...it's a lot smarter than you are!"

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

"Wet wipe?"

"He downloaded one of those apps that helps you quit smoking."

'Do you realize that I spend more time out than I do in?'

'They're fighting over who gets custody of the electronic devices.'

Kids go to school and mom goes to the psychiatric clinic.

"It's amazing how much he's like one of his dads."