Black Friday Warrior Gifts

'Oh, I retired years ago, but between Black Friday and the internet, nobody noticed!'

Shopping Days

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

Burning the midnight oil.

Working hours.

Cut Price

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

'Rozlyn, that blouse is very cute! I think you should get it.'

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

Changing Room Decisions

"If there's any one lesson we've learned from the eighties, it's how to shop!"

Pull an all-nighter?

"I think I see your deadline approaching."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

Orderly Conduct of Sales

Honesty in retail

Women's sportswear - Sale on paradigm shifts.

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

'The difference between the sexes...First Contact...'

"I'm going in."

'Our giant sale now on!'

"I got it in the sales."

Giant Sale!

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

"Hey, I just got a burst of consumer confidence- let's go buy something."

Suits 50% Off

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'