Black Friday Enthusiast Gifts

'Injured on Black Friday? I can help!'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Cut Price

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

A women in a shoeshop.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"I shop, therefore I am."

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

'Rozlyn, that blouse is very cute! I think you should get it.'

A Quiet Rebuke.

"Ok weekend! I hope you can make up for that awful week!"

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"'Tis the story of a woeful refugee... ...whose plight has been forgotten. An admirable, amiable sort is he... but boy is he downtrodden. With courage of the kind you rarely see, he defended this land, when Redcoats invaded over land and sea, peck their knees and hands. And how did America repay this debt it owed its forest bird? Did you put our noble visage on the national seal as we would have preferred? No... You ate us. Just like the British did. I really think that it's the least you can do

A young couple selects items from a shop.

"If there's any one lesson we've learned from the eighties, it's how to shop!"

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

'I put that the pilgrims ate Butterball Turkey, Stove Top Stuffing, and Mrs. Smith's Pie. Think she'll give extra credit for brand names?'

Women's sportswear - Sale on paradigm shifts.

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.