Black Belt Humorist Gifts

Old Karate Master

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

'Frankendumpty'

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

'I can't believe this.. biggest fight of my life, and I forget to pack a wallop.'

'If asked, we should all agree that this seminar never happened.'

"Yes, I have seen people in worse health than you. But, they were all dead."

Three-way mirror

After talking one stranger to death, Velma starts in on the next.

Dion hires an image consultant: Ineresting. Now let's try Western and then Hip-Hop.

Tooth Fairy sitting with judges at boxing match.

Steak Lovers.

'Isn't your father that very tall boxer?'

La Tour 2007.

"I see from your resume you have a black belt in accountancy."

"Baxter, I'm doing an online course in delegating and I want you to sit the exam for me."

'I've pencilled in time for the grieving process.'

"The good news is you caught the less severe variant."

"He refuses to let me get on with the grieving process."

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A garden Part 10

'Don't worry! They're vegetarian!'

How NOT to solve the problem of 'floating elbow' in your taiji

Turkey Black Fridays.

"That liver went to someone who doesn't have such a big yap."

"The governor's granted your stay, but the zucchini fries tonight."

You have any baby pictures, Randy? I'm just wondering what you looked like before all those muscles. HOJ. Indeed I do, little buddy. In fact, they were professionally taken. By Sears? By Muscle & Fitness Magazine. I was the centerfold in their infants and toddlers edition. Figures.

'I told him: 'Use your jab. Move around the ring. Don't try to slug it out with this guy.''

Man attempting to karate chop a pile of bricks cheats by tying a brick to his hand

Tobacco black-marketing.

'No wait. It's not the end of the round. It's just my mobile ringing.'

'On your mark...'

Do you want to see my karate chop?

'it's the local bank manager.'

"Keep working on his right knee, you're weaing him down."